London is one of the greatest cities in the world but before you come here there’s a few things you should know…
Here’s a list of 21 things Londoners absolutely hate:
1 – People who stop in the middle of a busy street. WHY WHY WHY.
2 – People who dawdle along the road when we’re late for work, lunch or to Starbucks for a hangover latte.
3 – That most restaurants now require you to queue outside for an obscene amount of time instead of taking a booking like normal people.
4 – Night buses. Yeah they run all night and can save you from walking a million miles home when you miss the last tube but London night buses are quite an experience and you’ll never forget the smell of your first one.
5 – Going further than zone 3. Your friends aren’t really your friends if they choose to live in Morden.
6 – People who get on the tube with massive suitcases that require help to hoof them on and off before the doors close and don’t sit/stand in the bit that’s dedicated to massive suitcases.
7 – Talking of the tube, Londoners have a special hatred for weekend tube closures that mess up our social lives and make us spend ridiculous amounts of money on cabs or the dreaded night bus.
8 – Tourists who ask us for directions when we have our earphones in and are trying to limit human interaction. We send you the wrong way on purpose.
9 – Eye contact on the tube. Just look at the awfully ironic adverts like everyone else and stop making this awkward.
10 – Chuggers. That’s the people with clipboards who want to take half your wages every month to give to charity so they get a big fat bonus.
11 – People who play loud techno music on the tube. STOP. NOW.
12 – People who split the bill equally in restaurants when they had steak and beer and all you had is a salad and tap water.
13 – People who eat McDonald’s on the tube/train/bus and make it smell like a delicious armpit.
14 – PEOPLE WHO STAND ON THE LEFT.
15 – Those solo old men who take up whole booths in Wetherspoons and nurse a sombre pint for a good 3 hours leaving you and your mates wobbling uncomfortably on those high stools.
16 – Being forced to eat off wooden boards, pint glasses and shovels in hipster pop-up restaurants and pubs in horrid parts of town.
17 – Angus Steakhouse.
18 – Businessmen with wheelie suitcases in Waterloo Station. Just pick the damn thing up, it’s the size of a small cat.
19 – People who refuse to take off their massive backpacks on public transport.
20 – Getting trapped in the middle of a group of school kids on their way to a museum.
21 – Boris Johnson.